Thursday, December 31, 2009

Resolutions No One Ever Keeps

It's New Year's Eve! I'm counting down the hours till 2009 is over - I can't wait.
I don't know why people make resolutions for the new year...people rarely keep them anyway. I've had the same resolution on my list for the past 5 years and I still haven't checked it off.

However, in the spirit of 2010 and simply because of habit, here's my list of resolutions that will most likely go ignored after January 8, 2010 (I give myself about a week to pretend I'll keep my word.) BTW, this is in no particular order of importance because everything listed is a bunch of bullcrap anyway. What better way than to start the new year with a hearty chuckle of nonsense?

Here's to a happier, healthier, and more productive 2010!

(This has been a battle for me and will continue to be for many more years to come. Jay Leno said, "Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year's resolution.")

(I'm learning to stop, in the midst of the chaos in my life, and let people know that I was thinking about them or wondered how they were doing. They may not care, but at least I let them know.)

(Less sarcasm, more genuine sincerity. This will be a tough one.)

(I often wonder why God forgot this particular characteristic for me. I will try to let others finish their idiotic questions before I blurt out the answer. I will try to not let long lines and slow people irritate the hell out of me.)

(I'll try to insert euphemisms like "Holy Shiitake!" and "Holy Shiite!" when speaking and driving.)

(I have 6 recipes that I cook regularly. They are: chicken tofu, chicken long rice, chicken parmesan, shoyu chicken, potato crusted chicken, fried chicken...see the pattern?)

(So, I got rear ended last November. I already got the money to fix the car from the couple that hit me, but ended up buying a Louis Vuitton bag with the money instead. Priorities!)

(I will never again laugh at anyone who tells me it took them 7 years to complete their MBA. The thought of Grad School just exhausts me.)

(I finally declared to my partner, "I want to be a consultant!"
"Well, what will people be consulting you for?"
"Uh, I don't know."
"Figure out what people would pay you money for and then let me know you want to be a consultant.")

(How will I ever get my book deal and be a best selling author if I'm not consistent with my ranting and raving?)

Cheers until next year!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Brain Farts

I've been having a number of brain farts recently. What are brain farts you ask? In my medium to semi-severe case, brain farts are moments of forgetfulness. Bubbles of air that are formed in your brain that **poof** release tidbits of information that you were intending to store somewhere in there. It's when your brain ceases to function normally for a split second.

Here's my list of recent brain farts...all in a time frame of 24 hours. The Ginkgo Biloba I took three months ago hasn't kicked in just yet.

1) I looked at my boyfriend and said, "Damn...for a split second there, I forgot your name." (His reaction = "WTF?!")

2) I forgot to put my bra on and went to work bra-less.
(I thought it was a bit breezier than usual and finally figured out why.)

3) I drove away from the gas station and didn't recap my gas tank.
(The good news is that I didn't drive off with the pump still in my tank like how my aunty did!)

4) I sent the same email to the same person 3 times.
(Sad...very sad.)

5) Left my phone at home.
(I usually never leave the house without my wallet, keys, phone.)

6) I used the maximum number of tries to enter my pin at the ATM.
(No money = no lunch)

7) I forgot to zipper my pants after using the restroom.
(This is turning into a bad habit.)

8) I stopped mid-sentence while giving a presentation and said, "Crap, what am I speaking about again?!"
(Note to self: Never disclose to the audience that you have absolutely NO clue what you're talking about.)

9) Got off of the elevator, walked to my apartment door, and wondered why my key wasn't working. (After a few expletives, I realized that I got off on the wrong floor and was trying to open someone else's door.)

10) Found the stove on when I woke up in the morning.
(Ok...yikes!...Thank you Jesus nothing serious happened).

If my boobs weren't attached to my body, I probably would've forgotten to put them on this day, too. If anyone has a cure for the common brain fart, please contact me immediately.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Work-a-Holics Anonymous

I officially joined a new group this week...Work-a-holics Anonymous. The reason why I know this is because I had a dream last night that I came home, opened the front door ran into my boyfriend who was leaving the house to go out on a date. I said, "Where are you going, I just got home?" And he said, "I've been waiting for you. We were supposed to have dinner together. You told me you were coming home at 8 p.m. and it's now 9:30. So, I'm going out with her." And he walks out the door with this blonde, hot, female attorney, who I actually had a meeting with earlier in the week!

Of course, I woke up, sweating from the rage, then grabbed my cell phone to check if I had any new messages -- at 3 a.m. I hypocritically mock people and their crack-berry's, and laugh at them when they do their "BlackBerry Prayer." But, then, I realized, OMG, I'm just like them!

I thought of a few symptoms of how to know when you're a work-a-holic. Unfortunately, if I knew the remedies...well, I wouldn't be writing this, now would I?!

1) When you start to have dreams about your significant other cheating on you because you're working too late.
(I'm really sorry to anyone who has actually experienced this in real life. My heart does go out to you.)

2) When you check your Inbox on your BlackBerry/iPhone/Treo at the dinner table.
(New Rule: No phones allowed at the dinner table...starting tomorrow!)

3) You don't use up all of your vacation days at work.
(H-E-L-L-O-OOOO! I need to learn that it's OK to take vacation and have a little R&R.)

4) Your health starts going downhill because you neglect YOU!
(When you can no longer fit into your size 6 dress -- it's time to leave work at least by 6 p.m., and get that fat ass on that treadmill.)

5) When you keep a separate set of a) make-up b) toothbrush c) underwear d) clothes and e) a sleeping bag at work.
(What?! No! Don't be ridiculous! I don't have this at work...but I have thought about it.)

6) When you start to call your family members by your co-worker's names.
(This is sad...very sad.)

7) You go into work on the weekends thinking that you'll catch-up before Monday or think that you'll get ahead.
(I'm a sucker for this...there's no such thing as "catching up with your work." It NEVER happens!!!)

8) Your social life is your workplace.
(Oh, the horror! If my co-workers became my "hang-out" friends...I'd seriously shoot myself.)

9) When all you talk about at the dinner table is work or your co-workers.

(All I have to say is "Thank you Jesus for the patient people in my life who have to listen to me.")

10) You forget to pick up your child from school or your dog at doggy day-care. (I'm already super forgetful. Add on the stress from work, and I will seriously be arrested for neglect.)

Monday, August 31, 2009


I have a friend that says that when you use the "F" word, it just gets the point across. Sometimes, such simple words like "darn" or "crap" or even "$h!t" seem so inadequate. I agree...although, I try to save that word for very serious and extreme measures.

I've been having a lot of "WTF" moments lately...mostly at work...and, I mean, A LOT! Here's what "WTF" does NOT stand for: World Taekwondo Federation, Wednesday Thursday Friday, Welcome To Finland, Wow That's Fun!, or Where's The Food.

Here's my list of "WTF" moments:

WTF #1) I'm doing one third of YOUR job responsibilities, someone else is doing a third, you're taking all the credit for it AND you're getting paid how much more money than us?!

WTF #2) Donald Trump allowed Heidi Montag Pratt to perform at the Miss Universe Pageant and I sat there and watched it?!

WTF #3) Oh no you didn't just go out to dinner with the four of us and put in just enough money to cover your meal and NOT leave enough money for tip!

WTF #4) Did you just come into my house and help yourself to a Coke in my refrigerator without asking?

WTF #5) I let you cut in front of me on the Freeway and now you're driving 20 miles BELOW the speed limit?!

WTF #6) You're calling me a bitch and I don't even know you?!

WTF #7) I wake up on the day of my BIG event and have a HUGE, white pimple on the tip of my nose.

WTF #8) I know you didn't just let your dog poop in front of my house and not pick it up.

WTF #9) Did you just use the last piece of toilet paper, leave the roll, and make me get off the freaking toilet to get a new one?

WTF #10) Why do you have such a bad attitude?!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Why Wear A Helmet?

What's the freaking purpose of wearing a helmet?!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

He's Just Not That Into You

Step aside Pierce Brosnan, Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise. I've got a new list of men who are on fire. Believe it or not, I'm rarely turned on by just looking at a guy. But, for some reason, I tend to get hot and bothered when I see any kind of photo of these men. Of course, most people will not agree. My taste in men is varied...I mean, one of them is rumored to be gay, but, hey, that's OK!

Here's the list:

1) Josh Groban - Need I say more???

2) Steve Byrne - Funny men turn me on.

3) Justin Long - He likes Mac's, I like Mac's. It's a match made in Heaven.

4) Luke Wilson - Yum-O!

5) Bradley Cooper - He may not be into me, but I'm into him.

6) Ryan Gosling - Damn you, Rachel McAdams!

7) Russell Wong - Asian Sensation

8) Michael Buble - Call him "Irresistible."

9) Anderson Cooper - He may not have taste in women, but the man knows how to dress.

10) SDO - The true love of my life.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Excuse Me, You Have Something In Your Teeth

I've always told my friends that if I ever had anything in my teeth, I'd want them to tell me. I think...if they were really my friends, they would spare me the embarrassment, right? least that's what I hope. I came up with a list of other things I'd want my friends, or anyone for that matter, to tell me if one of these applied to me.

Sure...they can laugh about it at first. People laugh at me ALL THE TIME. But, don't let me go all freaking day with one of these malfunctions.

1) Tell me if I have food in my pearly whites! Spinach, oreos, pepper...whatever.

2) Toilet paper on my shoe

3) Skirt tucked in to the panty hose...I rarely wear panty hose, but this applies to my panties as well.

4) Makapiapia a.k.a. eye boogers. Yuck!

5) Sometimes I wonder, "Can't they feel that they have a booger hanging out of their nose?" Ummm...NO! You can't always feel the booger coming out of your nose, so please, people...TELL ME! It's not embarrassing for you, it's embarrassing for me!

6) I've been known to leave my fly down, so let me know if you can see my undies because my zipper is down.

7) Unbuttoned blouse. Contrary to popular belief, I really don't like my cleavage showing., maybe I don't have cleavage...but still, tell me if I left a button unbuttoned. I'm really super conservative and most likely, I didn't leave it unbuttoned for a reason.

8) I'm really self if I smell like B.O...please tell me. Or garlic, too.

9) I once walked around the office and met with clients all day with my shirt inside out. Don't know how that happened, but it did. Someone finally had the balls to tell me at 5:00 p.m.

10) Wire looking hair growing in not normal places demands serious attention. Please advise if you see any whiskers growing on my face or in my ears.

Mahalo for your kokua!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I Speak Engrish!

I'm sure i've told this story to many people and, I'm gonna tell it again because I came upon a website that I think is hilarious.

I was making my way to Texas from California one year and I see this big 'ol, fat man with a cowboy hat and boots on coming down the aisle of the airplane. I thought, "Oh crap, I hope he doesn't sit next to me, cause if I have to pee, I'm screwed...I'm sitting near the window!)

Sure enough, the man plops his briefcase on the seat next to me, takes off his coat, puts his carry-on in the compartment above, gets settled and sits down. I try to make very little eye contact...I hate small talk...but I can tell he's looking me over and he says in a loud, booming SLOOOOWWW southern drawl, "Howdy little lady. Do-You-Speak-English?"

I thought of two things after this incident:

1) We Asians all look alike to Caucasians and
2) Isn't it funny that when FOB's say the word "English" they say, "Engrish"?

Check out It's a super funny website dedicated to English mistakes on foreign advertising and product design.

Questions, Questions, Questions.

I'm baaaaaackk! People have been asking me where I've been. No blogging for at least two months! Thanks to all of my fans for remaining so faithful and checking my blog every day...All three of you.

So, since everyone's been asking me why I haven't been posting, it got me thinking of a whole bunch of other things that make me say, "huh?" or "yeah, why is that?" etc. Warning...some of these are REALLY stupid, so, just go on to the next one after you roll your eyes.

Here they are:

1) Why is it that people say "I slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

2) Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

3) Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

4) Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

5) Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? (BTW, I have an entry on "The Hemmorhoid")

6) Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going dead? Men do this ALL the time.

7) Whose idea was it to put an "S" in "Lisp"?

8) If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

9) When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' when really, it isn't all right. Why don't we say, 'That fricken' hurt. Why don't you watch the hell where you're going!' Then, give them the stink eye, of course.

10) Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling
off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Battle of the Hair-Do's

I have this love/hate relationship with 2 TV shows and it infuriates me everytime I watch it. But, I find myself watching it ALL the time, no matter how many times I tell myself that I refuse to watch it anymore. I know exactly when it's going to be on, everyone's names in the show, popular blogs that discuss the shows, the theme song or opening lines...Ugh! Can someone please take away my DVR?

Dog the Bounty Hunter

What is it about this Chapman family that resembles trailer park trash that I'm sickly addicted to? It's not Dog's mullet, or Beth's enormous, watermelon sized boobs. I definitely don't find it amusing to listen to cuss words being beeped out every other word that comes out of their mouth when they go on a bounty. I don't like the "wanna be" cop like attitude. Is it that I can relate to Beth's bitchy-ness? Well, she definitely wins the award for this one. Could it be that all they do is revoke bonds just to get 30 minutes worth of a show? I can't stand the fact that they pray to God before they go and catch a guy and 5 minutes later call him a "Mother Bleeping Piece of Crap."

I can't explain it. Please spray me with mase and knock some sense into me.

Jon & Kate Plus 8

I get really annoyed watching a kid whine and cry and scream and yell, let alone 8 kids. It saddens me to see the Gosselins self-destructing right before our eyes. It pains me to see Maddy and Cara starving for attention by throwing hissy fits on every episode. It irritates me to see Jon and Kate allowing their young children to become victims of their own greed. I thought I had an attitude but Kate is in the running for the "Attitude of the Year" award. I just want to cut off that awful hairdo that Kate sports...asymmetrical in the front and spiked in the back. They are now considered "Celebrities."

I can't explain it. Please hand me a pair of scissors so that I can either cut off Kate's hair or poke my eyes out.

The Incredible Shrinking Belly

"Get Ripped in 90 days"

How could I not find this somewhat appealing?

I can just hear my brother saying, "Suckah!" Yes...I admit, I was inspired by the P90X infomercial of overindulgent men and women losing tons of weight and getting totally toned.

Who wouldn't want a six pack. I mean, I've had a one pack my entire life, and most recently added on a major flat tire, but, I can still hope for those washboard abs, can't I?

The first step is to take a "Before" shot. If you thought I was going to post that, I'd need to call you "Suckah!" I'm going for the P360X. When I finally get those washboard abs and when my arms no longer wave back at me when I raise my hand to wave to my friends, then and only then will I post my before and after shots.

Did I mention that I received this program in the mail over a month ago? I have yet to pop in a DVD to begin the exercise regimen. Did I also mention that one of the warnings that they have in their book says something to the effect that only those who are used to military drills and exercise can undergo this program?! What the f?

Stay tuned for the incredible shrinking belly!


Introverted Sensing with Extraverted Thinking

Many people have been asking me recently what my Myers Briggs personality type indicator is. So, I took the test and whadda ya know...I am an ISTJ. Not surprising. What was interesting, though, is reading specifics about my personality. Everything that I mention in my blog are facets of my personality. Here are 10 things that I found interesting and true:

1) We're quiet & reserved individuals
-We tend to be organized and methodical because of our reserved & quiet nature. At the same time, we can have an offbeat sense of humor and can be fun to be around at times :-)

2) We're loyal and faithful
- Unless you screw me over, I'll be a constant supporter and friend.

3) We're dependable
-We have a strong sense of duty and therefore, tend to work long hours. You can count on me to get the job done...on time.

4) We're uncomfortable expressing affection and emotion to others

-I'm not so much the huggy type and tend to have a wall up. With my family and close friends, though, I'm a little more mushy.

5) We're not naturally in tune with our own feelings and the feelings of others

-Please forgive me if it takes me a while to figure out that I hurt your feelings or pissed you off. It takes me a while to figure out my own issues.

6) We're hard workers
-We put tremendous amounts of energy into a task that we believe in. We prefer to work by ourselves rather than with a team, however, we can work well with others...IF we have to.

7) We have a sense for artistic appreciation

-As many of you know, I love the arts.

8) Under stress, we fall into "catastrophe" mode

-I'm not sure if I actually fall into "catastrophe" mode...I tend to work pretty well under stress...I have my serious face on and no one better mess with me. But, in the end, everything turns out pretty well. I hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

9) We are easily frustrated by the inconsistencies of others

-This might be one of the biggest frustrations of my life.

10) We are vulnerable to criticism and have ice in our veins.

-Yes & Yes!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Mamma Mia!

Dinner before show - $59.00
Tickets to Mamma Mia - $172.00
Watching middle aged men and women boogying to ABBA and making fools of themselves - Priceless.

We went to see Mamma Mia! at the Blaisdell Concert Hall and it was amazing! I can't see it on Broadway. Loved the flashy costumes and fun music.

It was a colorful and very funny jukebox musical. I think that my favorite part of the entire show was the finale/encore where the entire cast sang "Dancing Queen," "Mamma Mia," and "Waterloo."

I'm curious about the movie adaptation of Mamma Mia! I'll write my review right after I watch it on DVD. Until then, the show runs till May 30 in Hawaii and I'm hoping to see it one more time.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

There's Still Hope...

I celebrated my 30th birthday yesterday. I had a little meltdown two days before because of the realization (and reminder) that I had accomplished pretty much nothing in the first 30 years of my life.

But, celebrating my 30th will be something that I will remember for a long time. It was a special one as I received many emails and calls from friends and loved ones wishing me a special day. I didn't even realize some people knew when my birthday was! I enjoyed the day with one of the only people I would've wanted to be with on my birthday. We drove around the island and ate fantastic food.

I was reminded, though, that while I may think half of my life has passed me by, it really is just the beginning. I have much to look forward to in my next 30 years, that I can still accomplish most of the things that I originally set out to do. Or, better yet, I was reminded of Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I need to focus my next 30 years on my testimony for God...not for myself. I need to let the Lord take control of my life and stop trying to control it myself. Perhaps that's why I haven't accomplished any of the things that I set out to do...because it was simply my goal, not God's goal for my life. So...HORRAY! I'm not a total failure. There's still hope through Jesus!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

The Hemorrhoid

I've been called many things during my 29 years, 11 months and 3 days here on earth. But, nothing like being called Jenn "the homorrhoid" Hee.

You might be wondering why someone would call me a condition related to constipation and diarrhea. Believe me, I wondered the same thing. I thought, "How dare they! Hemorrhoid's are irritating little things that swell and inflame your veins in the 'okole (butt/rectum/ass/behind). And then, it hit me like a ton of bricks. They weren't calling me irritating (although, I know I can be at times), but rather, I tend to get highly irritable, just like a hemorrhoid!

So, what's the cure for a hemorrhoid? The real severe cases require the rubber band treatment (gross!), injection therapy or laser surgery. I'll take the enema. For now, since my case is low-medium severity, I'll just work on flushing out my dirty insides and cleaning out the junk to get rid of my hemorrhoidal behavior.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Pooh, Piglet, & the Swine Flu

"As the two friends wandered through the snow on their way home, Piglet grinned to himself, thinking how lucky he was to have a best friend like Pooh."

"Pooh thought to himself: 'If the pig sneezes, he's fucken dead.'"

Saturday, May 2, 2009

The Contemporary Museum in Honolulu

I'm at the Contemporary Museum in Honolulu right now volunteering for several hours. I love art! One of the great programs that the Museum has is called "Expression," which is an art class for kids. There are 8 kids drawing a self portrait and honestly, all of them look fabulous!

What I love best about art is that there's no right or wrong way to do it. You have the freedom to express whatever emotion you're feeling, capture a vivid memory or picturesque scene that you may see onto any medium that you choose. It's interesting to see the self portraits that the children are drawing and how they view themselves. One girl emphasized her long, beautiful jet black hair. Another drew a larger than life nose and said she thought her nose was way too big. Nothing that was drawn, though, was wrong because it's a representation of them.

Did you know that almost all famous artists have a self portrait? Van Gogh, Cezanne, Renoir and Chegall. One of these kids might be a Renoir in the near future.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Just Wondering (Part II)...

Just wondering, what about Beth Chapman and Miss Piggy?

Just Wondering...

Just wondering if anyone else saw a resemblance between Baby Lyssa from Dog the Bounty Hunter and Bart Simpson?

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The Misunderstood Introvert

I think that introverts are misunderstood and are often labeled negatively. I fall into the category of being misunderstood as I tend to be labeled a snob, bitch, grumpy, and unfriendly.

Many people need interaction for validation. They need to be around people to feel accepted, appreciated, and wanted. I definitely don't need interaction with others in order to feel like I belong, and quite frankly, I try and stay away from it. It's not because I think I'm better than the group or think that my time is too valuable to waste (which, is often times how I feel anyway) but, the plain and simple explanation is that I'm an introvert.
It's challenging being an introvert in an extroverted world. Here are 10 misunderstood ideas about introverts.

1) We're Loners
(No, we're not loners. We tend to be more reflective and thoughtful first, and then we can talk openly. Loners just don't share at all and want to totally be alone.)

2) We're Losers
(I might be a loser in other ways, check out my "Loser" entry, but being an introvert doesn't make me a loser.)

3) We are highly self conscious
(I'm not the life of the party or like to draw attention to myself, but it's ok if people look at me. I just look at them and say, "What, you jealous?") (I'm just kidding)

4) We tend to be shy & quiet
(Being a fundraiser has actually been a positive for me. I have a pretty easy time striking up a conversation. If, and, that's a big IF, I'm particularly interested in someone, I love to ask them questions, listen to their stories and learn more about them. Honest...No really...I do!)

5) We're hard to get to know
(Well...this actually might be true. I generally hate to get to know people.)

6) We are moody
(I think emotionally unstable introverts tend to be moody, but not ALL of us are. I tend to be moody, so, there you go.)

7) We're super rigid
(Introverts are just controlled & organized, that's all.)

8) Introverts are really pessimistic
(I think we're just honest. If your new haircut looks bad, I'm gonna say your haircut looks bad and that you should go to a new stylist. Why lie and tell you that it looks fabulous when it really doesn't?)

9) We're not changeable
(If you show me a better way, I'm amenable to change...but this whole Obama "Change We Can Believe In" crap is a no go.)

10) We're not responsive
(If you piss me off, believe me, you will get a response from me!)

The View

We went to the symphony to see Poncho Sanchez, legendary latin jazz band leader.

The music was cool, but my view was not so cool. $83 and this is what I stared at all night. This seriously might be the biggest head I've ever seen.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

First & Last

"In this way, the last shall be first and the first shall be last..." Matthew 20:16

Doing the right thing and serving God in this world is tough. I like to think that God places me in certain places & situations for a reason. I'm not sure what the reason is at the time that I am in them, but there is a reason for my suffering.

Take work, for instance. Talk about suffering in a secular world. Surprisingly, it's not the materialism that I'm struggling with, but it's more of a pride issue. I keep on wondering why it is that the people who declare that they work so hard, and yet don't do anything, are the first ones to get credited and recoginized for work they didn't do. They are the first people to advance ahead in the work place even though they aren't as competent as they appear.

It's like people boarding a plane. The people who sit in the rear have to suffer being all the way in the back and are on the plane the longest. The people who are sitting toward the front of the plane (in coach) get to get off first. The front of the plane doesn't deplane last, nor does the back of the plane get to deplane first.

There's a parable about the laborers in the field. There's a group of guys who worked all day long and got the same amount as the guys who worked for only an hour.

My first reaction is "What the * ?!? How is that fair?" But, my reaction really should be one of humility. I should be assured that I am doing my job to the best of my ability and have the right attitude rather than be jealous or prideful of others who are receiving credit. Eventually, we will receive the proper credit for our works and that service, whether it be in the secular world or for the Lord, should be our primary objective. My reward for my loyalty and dedication to my work may not be receiving the recognition that I deserve. What God's will is for me and my work will always be right, just, and fair. I need to keep on being completely obedient. He cares for the humble..." (Psalms 138:6 NLT). From the world's viewpoint, subjecting myself to authority means that I WILL suffer, but I need to remind myself that the truth of God is that when I submit myself to His authority in my life, I will be blessed .

Proverbs 29:23 says, "A man's pride will bring him low, but he who is of a humble spirit will obtain honor."

**Sigh**The struggle continues...

Monday, April 20, 2009

The Stink Eye

I'm really good at giving the stink eye. Sometimes, I'm giving the stink eye and I don't even know it. I can't help comes automatically when I'm annoyed. I like to pull out my eye daggers if I sense that someone is completely incompetent, too. This look can speak volumes without saying a word.

Believe it or not, I have gotten the stink once or twice in my life. Ok...many times. If I dish it out, I need to learn how to take it too, right? The meanest stink eye I've ever gotten was in Cincinnati at the symphony. We were at a special reception after the concert and this older Caucasian woman gave me the coldest, meanest stink eye ever. She made chills go up and down my spine.

So, what's worthy of the nasty glare we call the stink eye? Here's my list:

Stink Eye #1) If you make me repeat myself for a third time, you're gonna get the stink eye.

Stink Eye #2) If you give me the stink eye and I catch you, I'm gonna give you the stink eye, too.

Stink Eye #3) You're in line at Starbucks talking on your cell phone AND trying to order coffee AND trying to take out your money AND trying to type on your BlackBerry. You're definitely getting the stink eye.

Stink Eye #4) You make like you're totally swamped at work, but you really don't do anything but simply take up space and my tax paying dollars. Believe me...I'm giving you the stink eye.

Stink Eye #5) You cut me off while I'm driving. Not only am I giving you the Stink Eye, but I'm also giving you the finger.

Stink Eye #6) You talk or your cell phone goes off in the movies. I'm giving you a slight head turn stink eye, because I'm afraid of getting kicked in the back of my chair if I give you the full head turn.

Stink Eye #7) You cut in line and board the plane when you know your seating row hasn't been called yet. (Most of these people tend to be men...or foreigners).

Stink Eye #8) You send me ridiculous amounts of forwarded emails. Yes...I can still give the stink eye through the computer.

Stink Eye #9) You make me wait simply because you like to be fashionably late. Not only will you get a glare, but you'll also need to put up with my attitude. I hate people who are late.

Stink Eye #10) If you continually interrupt me while I am speaking, you're gonna get the stink eye.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

My New Goal

After lamenting about being a loser because I haven't accomplished any of my goals on my list, I decided to add one more goal. This goal, while some might claim it could be the most difficult to accomplish, is really the most important.

My new goal is to be a nicer person.

My goal for the next 30 years is to be a nicer person and to do this, I'm going to have a better attitude, be friendlier, and have less expectations of others. Here's my list of what I will do to be a nicer person:

Be Nice Goal #1) I will try to avoid thoughts of wanting to "accidentally" trip or slap someone that I don't like.

Be Nice Goal #2) I will bite my tongue and hold back from telling someone to shut up when I can't stand their irritating voice.

Be Nice Goal #3) I'll vow to not purposefully aim my car towards a cat on the road.

Be Nice Goal #4) I promise to limit thoughts of wanting to poke someone's eyes out (or my eyes) because I can't stand the sight of them.

Be Nice Goal #5) I'll do my best not turn the other way when I see someone that I don't really like or don't want to talk to.

Be Nice Goal #6) I will actually take the time to listen to what someone has to say rather than pretend I don't hear them (or, pretend I'm actually listening to them when I'm really not.)

Be Nice Goal #7) I'm going to smile with joy rather than smile with a smirk.

Be Nice Goal #8) I'm going to give less stink eye.

Be Nice Goal #9) I will offer to hold the elevator door open rather than press the "close door" button when I see someone rushing to make the elevator.

Be Nice Goal #10) I won't laugh at someone in front of them...I'll hold it in and wait till I can call my best friend to tell them all about it. Ha!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Why God, Why?

I must say that I do a lot of my thinking during meetings. Probably not the best time for my mind to be drifting elsewhere, but, oh well. If it weren't for meetings, I wouldn't have a blog. In one of my meetings today, I started asking myself, "Why God? Why Me? Why am I here?" (As a side note, in no way am I pondering the deep question of "Why am I here on earth?" It's more shallow than that. I'm simply asking, "Why am I here in this meeting?")

This then led me to asking myself, "If I could ask God a few questions when I get to Heaven, what would they be?" Here they are:

#1) What is the purpose of you creating alligators?

#2) Where are you?

#3) Why are we here?

#4) Why are some people so mean?

#5) What took you so long to take me away?

#6) Why do women suffer so much more than men? Yeah we ate the apple first, but geez...menstruation, childbirth AND menopause?!

#7) Don't you wish you could just shut people up when they whine and complain too much to you? Actually, you don't have to wish, you just could shut them up. Why don't you?

Why Pay Taxes? Geithner Didn't.

"In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes."
- Benjamin Franklin

Another thought on the theme of death and taxes is Margaret Mitchell's line from her book Gone With the Wind, 1936:"Death, taxes and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them."

It's tax day! Thank goodness for Turbo Tax as I was able to complete my taxes and ship them off online in a matter of hours. It's so simple to do it online, it makes me wonder how anyone could have done it manually!

As I sat diligently for 2 hours completing the step by step turbo tax online, the question that kept popping into my mind was, "Why do I pay taxes? Tim Geithner didn't and look where he is now...he's our Treasury Secretary!" If he doesn't pay taxes -- and he's essentially in charge of the we all have to remain compliant? Just thinking out loud.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Sparky's Human Peeves

A few weeks ago I wrote about my pet peeves. You remember, right? Tardiness, State Workers, Nose Pickers and Loud People were on the top of my list.

Here's a list of Sparky's Dog Peeves (or any other dog) about Humans:

Dog Peeve #1 - Blaming your farts on me
(Yours are silent but violent. Mine are loud and proud.)

Dog Peeve #2 - Yelling at me for barking
(I'm a dog...I bark. You're a human, you talk.)

Dog Peeve #3 - Taking me for a walk and rushing me
(Whose walk is this anyway?!)

Dog Peeve #4 - The tricks you make me do that involve balancing food on my nose
(This stresses me out!)

Dog Peeve #5 - Any haircut that involves bows, ribbons, or bandanas
(Now you know why we chew your stuff when you're not home.)

Dog Peeve #6 - The fake fetch throw
(Is that the best you can do???)

Dog Peeve #7 - Taking me for the "Big Snip"
(Now you wonder why dogs freak out when we have to go to the vet.)

Dog Peeve #8 - Getting upset when I sniff crotches
(We don't do handshakes, so this is the next best thing.)

Dog Peeve #9 - Dog Sweaters
(We have fur for a we don't have to wear those dumb sweaters.)

Dog Peeve #10 - How you act disgusted when I lick myself
(You're just jealous!)

Dogs are the don't see them picking up human poop, do you?

I Can Only Imagine

It's been 7 months since Dale passed away. I think about her every day. She was my friend, my mentor, and the only person I knew who radiated Jesus' love in a pure and graceful way.

Losing someone as close as Dale has taught me many things and reminds me that life is fleeting. I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say that it really sucks that she's gone, but how selfish am I to not be happy and comforted in knowing that she's dancing with and for the Lord and free from this craphole we call "earth."

I'd also be remiss if I didn't say that I get really irritated sometimes when people say, "There's a reason why she passed away so suddenly. " Trite or insensitive, things like "I know how you feel," and "Call me if there's anything you need," or the kicker, "At least we know it was God's will." While most people who say this mean well, I'd prefer to just not hear it. No one knows how I feel with Dale's loss, nor do they know God's will for why He took her when He did.

What I do know is that I could not have endured such a loss without the assurance that eternal life is through salvation in Christ alone. I know that she is with Jesus & I am comforted by this knowledge & pray that others know of God’s love & His gift of eternal life in Him.

I always thought that those I love would be around till I got old and gray, or at least until I got a little older. While I'm still a little miffed that she's gone, or when I am overcome with sadness, I remind myself of one of Dale's favorite songs, "I Can Only Imagine." She no longer has to imagine what it would be like to walk next to Jesus or what she'll see when she's in Heaven. She's there.

Monday, April 13, 2009


The other day I realized that in a month, I'm gonna be 30! 30...geez...10 years ago I thought that sounded so old. Throughout my 20's I looked forward to turning 30, but now, the more I think about it, the more I feel like a L-O-S-E-R.

When I turned 21, I made a list of 10 goals that I wanted to accomplish by the time I turned 30. I've accomplished NONE of them.

So, as I fall deeper into depression and wallow in my sorrows of being THE biggest loser, I'll share with you my list of things I didn't do.

1) Get my Graduate degree
(I've tried, and tried, and tried...aaarrrggghh!)

2) Run a Marathon
(One of these days...Maybe I'll set my goal as the oldest woman to run a marathon...I think that's 85.)

3) Get Married
(I hope to get this one done before I turn 40.)

4) Start my own business
(I guess it would have helped to pick one of my 70+ entrepreneurial ideas and just run with it.)

5) Travel Internationally
(Japan, Hong Kong, Thailand, Paris, India...**sigh**)

6) Buy my own place

(Perhaps this is the year with a $8,000 tax deduction for first time home owners)

7) Retire
(Not gonna happen within the next 30 years, either)

8) Start an art collection...of my own art
(So many things to draw, so little time)

9) Travel to all 50 states
(24 down and 26 to go...i'll knock off Wyoming this May)

10) Write a book
(Everyone else is doing it...why can't I?)

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Would've, Could've, Should've

I was sitting in a strategic planning meeting for four hours today. During that time my mind drifted and various thoughts popped into my head. Occasionally, I'd think, "Man, my butt hurts," then, I'd shift cheeks. Of course "What the hell am I doing here!?" crossed my mind, too. Then, I thought..."Instead of being here, what else could I be doing with my life?" So, here's my list of what I would be doing, could be doing, or will do (one of these days) with my life.

1) I'd open my own business
(I'm not sure what kind of business, but I have a running list of 70+ entrepreneurial ideas that I can't seem to get myself to do as much as I want to. The other requirement is that I can work from home.)

2) I'd become a full time student
(I LOVE being in the classroom and long as I don't have to take any tests.)

3) I'd go to culinary school
(This would so be worth all the weight gain.)

4) I'd volunteer
(There are so many organizations that I wish I could volunteer at full time like the Humane Society, church, HBA, the Art Academy, etc.)

5) I'd be a personal shopper
(Instead of spending my money, I'd help others spend THEIR money :-) )

6) I'd be working out
(Instead of 0-2 times a week, I'd go 0-3 times a week.)

7) I'd go into teaching
(If I liked kids and didn't mind correcting papers, I think I wouldn't mind teaching)

8) I'd be an artist
(I love drawing and I wish I would spend more time pursuing one of my passions.)

9) I'd rethink about getting into the "non-profit" world
(Sometimes I wonder if taking a lower pay is worth the mission that you're working for. My theme song should be "For the Love of Money" by the O' know, the song from "The Apprentice.")

10) I'd sleep all day...just like Sparky
(I'm such a lazy ass that this trumps #'s 1-9)

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

It's OK to say NO!

"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 2:5)

Sometimes I wonder if I get caught up in doing too many things. I like to get involved in many different projects. Whatever gets me excited and pumped up, I'm gonna be there and give every ounce of effort to make whatever I'm involved with a success.

Lately, though, I've been having a bad attitude and it hit me like a ton a bricks. I over commit myself to projects & events, put in a lot of effort, and when everyone else on my committee doesn't meet my expectations with their quality of work, I get irritated and tend to be VERY critical.

The Bible says, "You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off the old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds." (Ephesians 4:22 NIV)

My inner disposition and how I treat others is so much more important than trying to make people happy by getting involved with all sorts of activities. My attitude and actions should be Christ-like and Christ focused...not ME-focused...and I've learned that I need to choose wisely about what activities and committee's I decide to participate in and remind myself that it is OK to say NO.

Fascinating People

I attended a lecture tonight with Richard Parsons, the Chairman of Citigroup and former Chairman and CEO of Time Warner. He's the member of President Obama's economic team and has many prominent connections including the Rockefeller Family, Mayor Bloomberg, and Rudy Giuliani.

One of the cool things that I like best about my job is that I get to meet many interesting people like Richard Parsons. So, it got me thinking...what other fascinating people would I like to meet? Here's my list...of living people only...and the first question I'd ask them or what I'd say to them.

1) Michael Jackson
(Why did you cut off your nose?)

2) Tiger Woods
(Can you give me private lessons?)

3) Billy Graham
(How do you know that there's a God?)

4) Evan Williams
(How do you continue to come up with so many ingenious, entrepreneurial ideas?)

5) Harry Connick, Jr.
(Will you compose and play a song for me? Oh, and also include it in your next album?)

6) Oprah
(Why do you make it so damn hard to get tickets to your show?)

7) Stacey London
(You can make the oddest shaped people look fabulous! Can I PLEASE take you shopping with me?)

8) Suze Orman
(Will you help me, girlfriend?)

9) Jerry Seinfeld
(You're the funniest person ever)

10) Rachel Ray
($40 a day?! Are you freaking kidding me?! I know you wouldn't REALLY order the cheapest thing on the menu if you weren't doing a show called "$40 a day")

Sunday, April 5, 2009

The Evolution of Ann Taylor

Everyone that knows me knows that I like Ann Taylor. I used to work there for nearly 7 years because I couldn't get enough of the clothes. Nothing could keep me away from the 40% discount I received. I loved the classic look and clean lines of what Ann Taylor USED to be.

Since I left, though, it's almost been a struggle for me to get back into the store to shop. Not because I'm never at the mall, but because the store has been going downhill.

No longer will you see classic suits and dresses like the ones pictured above. Even the quality of the clothes isn't what it used to be. I understand that retailers need to cater to those who keep up with the trends, but what about the people whose conservative taste and longing for the elegant & classic look can no longer find ONE thing to buy?! It's way too trendy and at their price point, the age group that they're trying to fit can't afford to buy the clothes! I would much rather go to Banana Republic and buy something at regular price because the quality is so much better, than get something on sale at Ann Taylor.

It's not surprising why sales have been way down.

Loud Mouth

I finally figured out what it takes to survive at work. I need to have a loud mouth. Being Asian doesn't help me much because I was brought up thinking that I need to keep my mouth shut and my head down. I've learned, though, that that doesn't get me very far.

I need to be like the others that I work with. Some people that I work with, they have no shame in proclaiming to others how hard they work, how much others loooove their work, and how many brilliant ideas they have.

Any opportunity they have to "one-up" someone else, they take it. Every chance they get to get their digs in to make you feel like what you do is not as important as what they do, they seize it. And, any time that they have to make colleagues think that we could never have managed without them, they remind us. More importantly, they let those around them know when others praise them for their work.

In fact, they are praised ALL the time. Why? Because they aren't afraid to open their mouth.
I finally figured it out. I don't know why it took me this long. In order to get ahead, I need to be a loud mouth, too.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Once You Go Black, I Mean Mac, You Never Go Back

I feel like I'm still living in the dark ages. I recently opened a Facebook page (only to deactivate it 2 days later because I hated EVERYONE seeing who I was talking to and what we were talking about), I learned what Twitter was a few weeks ago, and now, I am entering my first entry using a Mac.

I love it!

Why is it that ALL Mac users look so cool? I feel so unbelievably cool as I sit on the couch and type. (I me "dork.") I'll be signing up for some tutorials at the Genius Bar next.

It's like being on a first date. I'm checking things out on here, figuring out what I like (love the feel of the keypad for starters) and what I don't like (menu bar changes as you change applications). But, it's the start of a beautiful relationship and perhaps one day, just like the road to marriage, you find the one you want to be with forever and you never look back.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Snip, Snip, Snip

People say that you can never have too many friends. On Facebook, everyone wants to be friends with everyone. The goal is to become "friends" with as many people as possible.

One thing I've learned as I get older is that it's OK to outgrow friends. We age, we meet new people, our tastes and interests change, we get married and we simply outgrow our old friends.

So, my question is, how do you know when it's time to breakoff old friendships that aren't fulfilling and worthwhile? I like the analogy of "snipping people off of your tree." Here's the list i've made of determining when it's time to prune the tree and snip off the old branches (i'd also like to add that I don't have an open door policy when it comes to friends. Once you're snipped, you're snipped. So, I really do think long and hard before I take out my shears):

Snip #1 - When the friendship is a One-Way street
I learned that the friendship is not worth it when you're the only one doing all the phone calling, emailing, remembering to send birthday cards, etc.

Snip #2 - Lack of respect
Chances are, if your "friends" treat you with a lack of respect, they'll continue to do so the longer you stay with them.

Snip #3 - They're just simply annoying
I seem to attract a lot of annoying people. I initially want to be friends with them, but, they either turn out too loud, too self-absorbed, or too dependent on the friendship.

Snip #4 - They're Unreliable & are full of excuses
Having a friend who's unreliable should be added to my list of pet peeves.

Snip #5 - When you go out, they NEVER bring their wallet
Or, how's about this --when the bill comes, they're either slow to pull out their wallets thinking that you'll take care of it or, they leave enough money to only cover their portion (tax & tip not included).

Snip #6 - They're racist
I'm totally cool with having friends who differ on religion or politics, but call me a derogatory name and I'll snip you off so fast, you won't even know what hit you.

Snip #7 - They steal from you
This needs no explanation.

Broken Promises

It hasn't been a hundred days yet and our President has already broken a promise. Do you remember in New Hamshire on the campaign trail where he made the promise that the "Public Will Have 5 Days To Look At Every Bill That Lands On My Desk"? How many days did the public have to look at the nearly 1100 page, $787 billion dollar Stimulus Bill? Oh...about 24 hours. You want a list of more broken promises by Obama, check out and take a look at the Obameter.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The Junkie

I haven't told many people, but I have addictions. None of them healthy, all of them posing a possible detriment to the wallet & my figure. Here they are:

Addiction #1 - McCafe Iced Coffee from McDonald's
(One every day M-F = $12 a week)

Addiction #2 - Accessories
(137 necklaces...and counting)

Addiction #3 - Cheese & Crackers
(I'd like to say that I prefer some fancy French cheese, but, no...Kraft Cheddar Slices & Ritz crackers satisfy the hunger)

Addiction #4 - Shopping
(I really have tried to stay away from ALL shopping for a week. Can't do it.)

Addiction #5 - Putting on Make-Up
(I'm heavily criticized by my loved ones for wearing too much make-up. I can't help it...Blemishes are a Bitch)

Addiction #6 - Icee's
(Blue Raspberry preferrably...the brain freeze is SO worth it)

Addiction #7 - Chips & Salsa
(No matter where I go, if it's on the menu, I'm ordering it)

Addiction #8 - Onion Rings
(No matter where I go, if it's on the menu, I'm ordering it)

Addiction #9 - Scrapbooking & Crafts
(If you craft, you know that this is an EXPENSIVE habit)

Addiction #10 - SDO
(I can't get enough...ah ha)