Monday, May 10, 2010

Daikon Legs

First, I'd like to say, "Happy Birthday!" to my wanna-be husband, Justin K. C. After all these years since elementary school, I know you still want me.

Daikon Legs...

For those of you who may not know, Daikon is a large Asian radish used in many Japanese dishes. Since I was young, my family gave me the nickname, "Daikon Legs." Just look at the picture and you'll get the idea. Unfortunately, MANY, and I mean, MANY, Japanese girls are cursed with the Daikon Legs. It only hit me the other week as I was running through Ala Moana Beach Park and started noticing all of the Asian tourists walking along the beach. I thought to myself, "OMG! There are actually other girls with the same shaped legs as me!" No definition AND No ankles (a.k.a. Cankles.)

So, this got me thinking...What are other signs besides Daikon Legs that scream "She's Japanese!" Here they are...and believe me, the next time you see a Japanese girl, you'll be thinking, "Oh IS true!" :

1) Small Breasts - If you see a Japanese girl with large breasts, she's either a) not Japanese or b) has fake ones. No ifs, ands, or buts.

They're Constantly Bowing Their Head - Yes, it's a sign of respect...but sometimes, I think, "I wonder if her head will ever fall off?"

They Cover Their Mouth When They Laugh - I don't know what it is, but when Japanese girls giggle, they always cover their mouths.

You Hear Them Saying "Ah-No" Before Every Sentence - "Ah-No" = "Um."

They Have Bleached, Straight Hair - Japanese girls long to have beautiful blonde hair like Paris Hilton. Unfortunately, Japanese girls don't realize that when we bleach our thick black hair, it turns to a brittle, brown, horse mane.

Hello Kitty - A Japanese girl is ALWAYS carrying around SOMETHING with Hello Kitty on it. Always.

Alcohol = Red Face - Hey guys. Wanna know when it's time to pick up a Japanese girl at the bar? Her face is beet red.

8) They have single eyes
- If a Japanese girl has double eyelids she either a) got plastic surgery for her birthday/graduation/wedding gift or 2) was blessed at childbirth.

9) Crooked Teeth
- Trust me, Japanese girls have crooked teeth. Thank God for braces otherwise I'd have teeth facing in all different directions except for straight.

10) They Get Carded At The Bar Even Though They're 40
- What's one of the best things about being Japanese? You can be in your 40's and are still asked for i.d. at the bar. Japanese women know anti-aging face creams. This is one of those rare times when CaucAsians wished they were simply...Asian.