Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Sparky's Human Peeves

A few weeks ago I wrote about my pet peeves. You remember, right? Tardiness, State Workers, Nose Pickers and Loud People were on the top of my list.

Here's a list of Sparky's Dog Peeves (or any other dog) about Humans:

Dog Peeve #1 - Blaming your farts on me
(Yours are silent but violent. Mine are loud and proud.)

Dog Peeve #2 - Yelling at me for barking
(I'm a dog...I bark. You're a human, you talk.)

Dog Peeve #3 - Taking me for a walk and rushing me
(Whose walk is this anyway?!)

Dog Peeve #4 - The tricks you make me do that involve balancing food on my nose
(This stresses me out!)

Dog Peeve #5 - Any haircut that involves bows, ribbons, or bandanas
(Now you know why we chew your stuff when you're not home.)

Dog Peeve #6 - The fake fetch throw
(Is that the best you can do???)

Dog Peeve #7 - Taking me for the "Big Snip"
(Now you wonder why dogs freak out when we have to go to the vet.)

Dog Peeve #8 - Getting upset when I sniff crotches
(We don't do handshakes, so this is the next best thing.)

Dog Peeve #9 - Dog Sweaters
(We have fur for a reason...so we don't have to wear those dumb sweaters.)

Dog Peeve #10 - How you act disgusted when I lick myself
(You're just jealous!)

Dogs are the boss...you don't see them picking up human poop, do you?

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