Monday, April 20, 2009

The Stink Eye

I'm really good at giving the stink eye. Sometimes, I'm giving the stink eye and I don't even know it. I can't help comes automatically when I'm annoyed. I like to pull out my eye daggers if I sense that someone is completely incompetent, too. This look can speak volumes without saying a word.

Believe it or not, I have gotten the stink once or twice in my life. Ok...many times. If I dish it out, I need to learn how to take it too, right? The meanest stink eye I've ever gotten was in Cincinnati at the symphony. We were at a special reception after the concert and this older Caucasian woman gave me the coldest, meanest stink eye ever. She made chills go up and down my spine.

So, what's worthy of the nasty glare we call the stink eye? Here's my list:

Stink Eye #1) If you make me repeat myself for a third time, you're gonna get the stink eye.

Stink Eye #2) If you give me the stink eye and I catch you, I'm gonna give you the stink eye, too.

Stink Eye #3) You're in line at Starbucks talking on your cell phone AND trying to order coffee AND trying to take out your money AND trying to type on your BlackBerry. You're definitely getting the stink eye.

Stink Eye #4) You make like you're totally swamped at work, but you really don't do anything but simply take up space and my tax paying dollars. Believe me...I'm giving you the stink eye.

Stink Eye #5) You cut me off while I'm driving. Not only am I giving you the Stink Eye, but I'm also giving you the finger.

Stink Eye #6) You talk or your cell phone goes off in the movies. I'm giving you a slight head turn stink eye, because I'm afraid of getting kicked in the back of my chair if I give you the full head turn.

Stink Eye #7) You cut in line and board the plane when you know your seating row hasn't been called yet. (Most of these people tend to be men...or foreigners).

Stink Eye #8) You send me ridiculous amounts of forwarded emails. Yes...I can still give the stink eye through the computer.

Stink Eye #9) You make me wait simply because you like to be fashionably late. Not only will you get a glare, but you'll also need to put up with my attitude. I hate people who are late.

Stink Eye #10) If you continually interrupt me while I am speaking, you're gonna get the stink eye.

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