Battle of the Hair-Do's

I have this love/hate relationship with 2 TV shows and it infuriates me everytime I watch it. But, I find myself watching it ALL the time, no matter how many times I tell myself that I refuse to watch it anymore. I know exactly when it's going to be on, everyone's names in the show, popular blogs that discuss the shows, the theme song or opening lines...Ugh! Can someone please take away my DVR?

Dog the Bounty Hunter

What is it about this Chapman family that resembles trailer park trash that I'm sickly addicted to? It's not Dog's mullet, or Beth's enormous, watermelon sized boobs. I definitely don't find it amusing to listen to cuss words being beeped out every other word that comes out of their mouth when they go on a bounty. I don't like the "wanna be" cop like attitude. Is it that I can relate to Beth's bitchy-ness? Well, she definitely wins the award for this one. Could it be that all they do is revoke bonds just to get 30 minutes worth of a show? I can't stand the fact that they pray to God before they go and catch a guy and 5 minutes later call him a "Mother Bleeping Piece of Crap."

I can't explain it. Please spray me with mase and knock some sense into me.

Jon & Kate Plus 8

I get really annoyed watching a kid whine and cry and scream and yell, let alone 8 kids. It saddens me to see the Gosselins self-destructing right before our eyes. It pains me to see Maddy and Cara starving for attention by throwing hissy fits on every episode. It irritates me to see Jon and Kate allowing their young children to become victims of their own greed. I thought I had an attitude but Kate is in the running for the "Attitude of the Year" award. I just want to cut off that awful hairdo that Kate sports...asymmetrical in the front and spiked in the back. They are now considered "Celebrities."

I can't explain it. Please hand me a pair of scissors so that I can either cut off Kate's hair or poke my eyes out.

The Incredible Shrinking Belly

"Get Ripped in 90 days"

How could I not find this somewhat appealing?

I can just hear my brother saying, "Suckah!" Yes...I admit, I was inspired by the P90X infomercial of overindulgent men and women losing tons of weight and getting totally toned.

Who wouldn't want a six pack. I mean, I've had a one pack my entire life, and most recently added on a major flat tire, but, I can still hope for those washboard abs, can't I?

The first step is to take a "Before" shot. If you thought I was going to post that, I'd need to call you "Suckah!" I'm going for the P360X. When I finally get those washboard abs and when my arms no longer wave back at me when I raise my hand to wave to my friends, then and only then will I post my before and after shots.

Did I mention that I received this program in the mail over a month ago? I have yet to pop in a DVD to begin the exercise regimen. Did I also mention that one of the warnings that they have in their book says something to the effect that only those who are used to military drills and exercise can undergo this program?! What the f?

Stay tuned for the incredible shrinking belly!

ISTJ

Introverted Sensing with Extraverted Thinking

Many people have been asking me recently what my Myers Briggs personality type indicator is. So, I took the test and whadda ya know...I am an ISTJ. Not surprising. What was interesting, though, is reading specifics about my personality. Everything that I mention in my blog are facets of my personality. Here are 10 things that I found interesting and true:

1) We're quiet & reserved individuals
-We tend to be organized and methodical because of our reserved & quiet nature. At the same time, we can have an offbeat sense of humor and can be fun to be around at times :-)

2) We're loyal and faithful
- Unless you screw me over, I'll be a constant supporter and friend.

3) We're dependable
-We have a strong sense of duty and therefore, tend to work long hours. You can count on me to get the job done...on time.

4) We're uncomfortable expressing affection and emotion to others
-I'm not so much the huggy type and tend to have a wall up. With my family and close friends, though, I'm a little more mushy.

5) We're not naturally in tune with our own feelings and the feelings of others
-Please forgive me if it takes me a while to figure out that I hurt your feelings or pissed you off. It takes me a while to figure out my own issues.

6) We're hard workers
-We put tremendous amounts of energy into a task that we believe in. We prefer to work by ourselves rather than with a team, however, we can work well with others...IF we have to.

7) We have a sense for artistic appreciation
-As many of you know, I love the arts.

8) Under stress, we fall into "catastrophe" mode
-I'm not sure if I actually fall into "catastrophe" mode...I tend to work pretty well under stress...I have my serious face on and no one better mess with me. But, in the end, everything turns out pretty well. I hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

9) We are easily frustrated by the inconsistencies of others
-This might be one of the biggest frustrations of my life.

10) We are vulnerable to criticism and have ice in our veins.
-Yes & Yes!

Mamma Mia!

Dinner before show - $59.00
Tickets to Mamma Mia - $172.00
Watching middle aged men and women boogying to ABBA and making fools of themselves - Priceless.

We went to see Mamma Mia! at the Blaisdell Concert Hall and it was amazing! I can't see it on Broadway. Loved the flashy costumes and fun music.

It was a colorful and very funny jukebox musical. I think that my favorite part of the entire show was the finale/encore where the entire cast sang "Dancing Queen," "Mamma Mia," and "Waterloo."

I'm curious about the movie adaptation of Mamma Mia! I'll write my review right after I watch it on DVD. Until then, the show runs till May 30 in Hawaii and I'm hoping to see it one more time.

There's Still Hope...

I celebrated my 30th birthday yesterday. I had a little meltdown two days before because of the realization (and reminder) that I had accomplished pretty much nothing in the first 30 years of my life.

But, celebrating my 30th will be something that I will remember for a long time. It was a special one as I received many emails and calls from friends and loved ones wishing me a special day. I didn't even realize some people knew when my birthday was! I enjoyed the day with one of the only people I would've wanted to be with on my birthday. We drove around the island and ate fantastic food.

I was reminded, though, that while I may think half of my life has passed me by, it really is just the beginning. I have much to look forward to in my next 30 years, that I can still accomplish most of the things that I originally set out to do. Or, better yet, I was reminded of Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I need to focus my next 30 years on my testimony for God...not for myself. I need to let the Lord take control of my life and stop trying to control it myself. Perhaps that's why I haven't accomplished any of the things that I set out to do...because it was simply my goal, not God's goal for my life. So...HORRAY! I'm not a total failure. There's still hope through Jesus!

The Hemorrhoid

I've been called many things during my 29 years, 11 months and 3 days here on earth. But, nothing like being called Jenn "the homorrhoid" Hee.

You might be wondering why someone would call me a condition related to constipation and diarrhea. Believe me, I wondered the same thing. I thought, "How dare they! Hemorrhoid's are irritating little things that swell and inflame your veins in the 'okole (butt/rectum/ass/behind). And then, it hit me like a ton of bricks. They weren't calling me irritating (although, I know I can be at times), but rather, I tend to get highly irritable, just like a hemorrhoid!

So, what's the cure for a hemorrhoid? The real severe cases require the rubber band treatment (gross!), injection therapy or laser surgery. I'll take the enema. For now, since my case is low-medium severity, I'll just work on flushing out my dirty insides and cleaning out the junk to get rid of my hemorrhoidal behavior.

Pooh, Piglet, & the Swine Flu

"As the two friends wandered through the snow on their way home, Piglet grinned to himself, thinking how lucky he was to have a best friend like Pooh."

"Pooh thought to himself: 'If the pig sneezes, he's fucken dead.'"

The Contemporary Museum in Honolulu

I'm at the Contemporary Museum in Honolulu right now volunteering for several hours. I love art! One of the great programs that the Museum has is called "Expression," which is an art class for kids. There are 8 kids drawing a self portrait and honestly, all of them look fabulous!

What I love best about art is that there's no right or wrong way to do it. You have the freedom to express whatever emotion you're feeling, capture a vivid memory or picturesque scene that you may see onto any medium that you choose. It's interesting to see the self portraits that the children are drawing and how they view themselves. One girl emphasized her long, beautiful jet black hair. Another drew a larger than life nose and said she thought her nose was way too big. Nothing that was drawn, though, was wrong because it's a representation of them.

Did you know that almost all famous artists have a self portrait? Van Gogh, Cezanne, Renoir and Chegall. One of these kids might be a Renoir in the near future.

Just Wondering (Part II)...

Just wondering, what about Beth Chapman and Miss Piggy?

Just Wondering...

Just wondering if anyone else saw a resemblance between Baby Lyssa from Dog the Bounty Hunter and Bart Simpson?

The Misunderstood Introvert

I think that introverts are misunderstood and are often labeled negatively. I fall into the category of being misunderstood as I tend to be labeled a snob, bitch, grumpy, and unfriendly.

Many people need interaction for validation. They need to be around people to feel accepted, appreciated, and wanted. I definitely don't need interaction with others in order to feel like I belong, and quite frankly, I try and stay away from it. It's not because I think I'm better than the group or think that my time is too valuable to waste (which, is often times how I feel anyway) but, the plain and simple explanation is that I'm an introvert.

It's challenging being an introvert in an extroverted world. Here are 10 misunderstood ideas about introverts.

1) We're Loners

(No, we're not loners. We tend to be more reflective and thoughtful first, and then we can talk openly. Loners just don't share at all and want to totally be alone.)

2) We're Losers

(I might be a loser in other ways, check out my "Loser" entry, but being an introvert doesn't make me a loser.)

3) We are highly self conscious

(I'm not the life of the party or like to draw attention to myself, but it's ok if people look at me. I just look at them and say, "What, you jealous?") (I'm just kidding)

4) We tend to be shy & quiet

(Being a fundraiser has actually been a positive for me. I have a pretty easy time striking up a conversation. If, and, that's a big IF, I'm particularly interested in someone, I love to ask them questions, listen to their stories and learn more about them. Honest...No really...I do!)

5) We're hard to get to know

(Well...this actually might be true. I generally hate to get to know people.)

6) We are moody

(I think emotionally unstable introverts tend to be moody, but not ALL of us are. I tend to be moody, so, there you go.)

7) We're super rigid

(Introverts are just controlled & organized, that's all.)

8) Introverts are really pessimistic

(I think we're just honest. If your new haircut looks bad, I'm gonna say your haircut looks bad and that you should go to a new stylist. Why lie and tell you that it looks fabulous when it really doesn't?)

9) We're not changeable

(If you show me a better way, I'm amenable to change...but this whole Obama "Change We Can Believe In" crap is a no go.)

10) We're not responsive

(If you piss me off, believe me, you will get a response from me!)

The View

We went to the symphony to see Poncho Sanchez, legendary latin jazz band leader.

The music was cool, but my view was not so cool. $83 and this is what I stared at all night. This seriously might be the biggest head I've ever seen.

First & Last

"In this way, the last shall be first and the first shall be last..." Matthew 20:16

Doing the right thing and serving God in this world is tough. I like to think that God places me in certain places & situations for a reason. I'm not sure what the reason is at the time that I am in them, but there is a reason for my suffering.

Take work, for instance. Talk about suffering in a secular world. Surprisingly, it's not the materialism that I'm struggling with, but it's more of a pride issue. I keep on wondering why it is that the people who declare that they work so hard, and yet don't do anything, are the first ones to get credited and recoginized for work they didn't do. They are the first people to advance ahead in the work place even though they aren't as competent as they appear.

It's like people boarding a plane. The people who sit in the rear have to suffer being all the way in the back and are on the plane the longest. The people who are sitting toward the front of the plane (in coach) get to get off first. The front of the plane doesn't deplane last, nor does the back of the plane get to deplane first.

There's a parable about the laborers in the field. There's a group of guys who worked all day long and got the same amount as the guys who worked for only an hour.

My first reaction is "What the * ?!? How is that fair?" But, my reaction really should be one of humility. I should be assured that I am doing my job to the best of my ability and have the right attitude rather than be jealous or prideful of others who are receiving credit. Eventually, we will receive the proper credit for our works and that service, whether it be in the secular world or for the Lord, should be our primary objective. My reward for my loyalty and dedication to my work may not be receiving the recognition that I deserve. What God's will is for me and my work will always be right, just, and fair. I need to keep on being completely obedient. He cares for the humble..." (Psalms 138:6 NLT). From the world's viewpoint, subjecting myself to authority means that I WILL suffer, but I need to remind myself that the truth of God is that when I submit myself to His authority in my life, I will be blessed .

Proverbs 29:23 says, "A man's pride will bring him low, but he who is of a humble spirit will obtain honor."

**Sigh**The struggle continues...

The Stink Eye

I'm really good at giving the stink eye. Sometimes, I'm giving the stink eye and I don't even know it. I can't help it...it comes automatically when I'm annoyed. I like to pull out my eye daggers if I sense that someone is completely incompetent, too. This look can speak volumes without saying a word.

Believe it or not, I have gotten the stink once or twice in my life. Ok...many times. If I dish it out, I need to learn how to take it too, right? The meanest stink eye I've ever gotten was in Cincinnati at the symphony. We were at a special reception after the concert and this older Caucasian woman gave me the coldest, meanest stink eye ever. She made chills go up and down my spine.

So, what's worthy of the nasty glare we call the stink eye? Here's my list:

Stink Eye #1) If you make me repeat myself for a third time, you're gonna get the stink eye.

Stink Eye #2) If you give me the stink eye and I catch you, I'm gonna give you the stink eye, too.

Stink Eye #3) You're in line at Starbucks talking on your cell phone AND trying to order coffee AND trying to take out your money AND trying to type on your BlackBerry. You're definitely getting the stink eye.

Stink Eye #4) You make like you're totally swamped at work, but you really don't do anything but simply take up space and my tax paying dollars. Believe me...I'm giving you the stink eye.

Stink Eye #5) You cut me off while I'm driving. Not only am I giving you the Stink Eye, but I'm also giving you the finger.

Stink Eye #6) You talk or your cell phone goes off in the movies. I'm giving you a slight head turn stink eye, because I'm afraid of getting kicked in the back of my chair if I give you the full head turn.

Stink Eye #7) You cut in line and board the plane when you know your seating row hasn't been called yet. (Most of these people tend to be men...or foreigners).

Stink Eye #8) You send me ridiculous amounts of forwarded emails. Yes...I can still give the stink eye through the computer.

Stink Eye #9) You make me wait simply because you like to be fashionably late. Not only will you get a glare, but you'll also need to put up with my attitude. I hate people who are late.

Stink Eye #10) If you continually interrupt me while I am speaking, you're gonna get the stink eye.

My New Goal

After lamenting about being a loser because I haven't accomplished any of my goals on my list, I decided to add one more goal. This goal, while some might claim it could be the most difficult to accomplish, is really the most important.

My new goal is to be a nicer person.

My goal for the next 30 years is to be a nicer person and to do this, I'm going to have a better attitude, be friendlier, and have less expectations of others. Here's my list of what I will do to be a nicer person:

Be Nice Goal #1) I will try to avoid thoughts of wanting to "accidentally" trip or slap someone that I don't like.

Be Nice Goal #2) I will bite my tongue and hold back from telling someone to shut up when I can't stand their irritating voice.

Be Nice Goal #3) I'll vow to not purposefully aim my car towards a cat on the road.

Be Nice Goal #4) I promise to limit thoughts of wanting to poke someone's eyes out (or my eyes) because I can't stand the sight of them.

Be Nice Goal #5) I'll do my best not turn the other way when I see someone that I don't really like or don't want to talk to.

Be Nice Goal #6) I will actually take the time to listen to what someone has to say rather than pretend I don't hear them (or, pretend I'm actually listening to them when I'm really not.)

Be Nice Goal #7) I'm going to smile with joy rather than smile with a smirk.

Be Nice Goal #8) I'm going to give less stink eye.

Be Nice Goal #9) I will offer to hold the elevator door open rather than press the "close door" button when I see someone rushing to make the elevator.

Be Nice Goal #10) I won't laugh at someone in front of them...I'll hold it in and wait till I can call my best friend to tell them all about it. Ha!

Why God, Why?

I must say that I do a lot of my thinking during meetings. Probably not the best time for my mind to be drifting elsewhere, but, oh well. If it weren't for meetings, I wouldn't have a blog. In one of my meetings today, I started asking myself, "Why God? Why Me? Why am I here?" (As a side note, in no way am I pondering the deep question of "Why am I here on earth?" It's more shallow than that. I'm simply asking, "Why am I here in this meeting?")

This then led me to asking myself, "If I could ask God a few questions when I get to Heaven, what would they be?" Here they are:

#1) What is the purpose of you creating alligators?

#2) Where are you?

#3) Why are we here?

#4) Why are some people so mean?

#5) What took you so long to take me away?

#6) Why do women suffer so much more than men? Yeah we ate the apple first, but geez...menstruation, childbirth AND menopause?!

#7) Don't you wish you could just shut people up when they whine and complain too much to you? Actually, you don't have to wish, you just could shut them up. Why don't you?

Why Pay Taxes? Geithner Didn't.

"In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes."

- Benjamin Franklin

Another thought on the theme of death and taxes is Margaret Mitchell's line from her book Gone With the Wind, 1936:"Death, taxes and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them."

It's tax day! Thank goodness for Turbo Tax as I was able to complete my taxes and ship them off online in a matter of hours. It's so simple to do it online, it makes me wonder how anyone could have done it manually!

As I sat diligently for 2 hours completing the step by step turbo tax online, the question that kept popping into my mind was, "Why do I pay taxes? Tim Geithner didn't and look where he is now...he's our Treasury Secretary!" If he doesn't pay taxes -- and he's essentially in charge of the IRS...do we all have to remain compliant? Just thinking out loud.

Sparky's Human Peeves

A few weeks ago I wrote about my pet peeves. You remember, right? Tardiness, State Workers, Nose Pickers and Loud People were on the top of my list.

Here's a list of Sparky's Dog Peeves (or any other dog) about Humans:

Dog Peeve #1 - Blaming your farts on me
(Yours are silent but violent. Mine are loud and proud.)

Dog Peeve #2 - Yelling at me for barking
(I'm a dog...I bark. You're a human, you talk.)

Dog Peeve #3 - Taking me for a walk and rushing me
(Whose walk is this anyway?!)

Dog Peeve #4 - The tricks you make me do that involve balancing food on my nose
(This stresses me out!)

Dog Peeve #5 - Any haircut that involves bows, ribbons, or bandanas
(Now you know why we chew your stuff when you're not home.)

Dog Peeve #6 - The fake fetch throw
(Is that the best you can do???)

Dog Peeve #7 - Taking me for the "Big Snip"
(Now you wonder why dogs freak out when we have to go to the vet.)

Dog Peeve #8 - Getting upset when I sniff crotches
(We don't do handshakes, so this is the next best thing.)

Dog Peeve #9 - Dog Sweaters
(We have fur for a reason...so we don't have to wear those dumb sweaters.)

Dog Peeve #10 - How you act disgusted when I lick myself
(You're just jealous!)

Dogs are the boss...you don't see them picking up human poop, do you?

I Can Only Imagine

It's been 7 months since Dale passed away. I think about her every day. She was my friend, my mentor, and the only person I knew who radiated Jesus' love in a pure and graceful way.

Losing someone as close as Dale has taught me many things and reminds me that life is fleeting. I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say that it really sucks that she's gone, but how selfish am I to not be happy and comforted in knowing that she's dancing with and for the Lord and free from this craphole we call "earth."

I'd also be remiss if I didn't say that I get really irritated sometimes when people say, "There's a reason why she passed away so suddenly. " Trite or insensitive, things like "I know how you feel," and "Call me if there's anything you need," or the kicker, "At least we know it was God's will." While most people who say this mean well, I'd prefer to just not hear it. No one knows how I feel with Dale's loss, nor do they know God's will for why He took her when He did.

What I do know is that I could not have endured such a loss without the assurance that eternal life is through salvation in Christ alone. I know that she is with Jesus & I am comforted by this knowledge & pray that others know of God’s love & His gift of eternal life in Him.

I always thought that those I love would be around till I got old and gray, or at least until I got a little older. While I'm still a little miffed that she's gone, or when I am overcome with sadness, I remind myself of one of Dale's favorite songs, "I Can Only Imagine." She no longer has to imagine what it would be like to walk next to Jesus or what she'll see when she's in Heaven. She's there.

Loser.

The other day I realized that in a month, I'm gonna be 30! 30...geez...10 years ago I thought that sounded so old. Throughout my 20's I looked forward to turning 30, but now, the more I think about it, the more I feel like a L-O-S-E-R.

When I turned 21, I made a list of 10 goals that I wanted to accomplish by the time I turned 30. I've accomplished NONE of them.

So, as I fall deeper into depression and wallow in my sorrows of being THE biggest loser, I'll share with you my list of things I didn't do.

1) Get my Graduate degree
(I've tried, and tried, and tried...aaarrrggghh!)

2) Run a Marathon
(One of these days...Maybe I'll set my goal as the oldest woman to run a marathon...I think that's 85.)

3) Get Married
(I hope to get this one done before I turn 40.)

4) Start my own business
(I guess it would have helped to pick one of my 70+ entrepreneurial ideas and just run with it.)

5) Travel Internationally
(Japan, Hong Kong, Thailand, Paris, India...**sigh**)

6) Buy my own place
(Perhaps this is the year with a $8,000 tax deduction for first time home owners)

7) Retire
(Not gonna happen within the next 30 years, either)

8) Start an art collection...of my own art
(So many things to draw, so little time)

9) Travel to all 50 states
(24 down and 26 to go...i'll knock off Wyoming this May)

10) Write a book
(Everyone else is doing it...why can't I?)